What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Do you know what she said mum?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

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Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

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So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

What do you mean son?

How can I move on from my ex?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

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What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

What! how could you do that?

Everyone says the pet population is out of control. Everyone says you MUST spay or neuter your pets. No one wants to talk about how its almost $1,000 to spay or neuter a pet. Why is it so expensive if its so necessary? Animal shelters do it for free.

True - how I loved my mum!